How to Navigate the Holidays When Co-Parenting after Divorce

For most people, the holiday season is full of exciting memories. However, the holidays might be incredibly stressful for you and your children if you're going through a divorce. Activities you once enjoyed together can suddenly feel unfamiliar and strange for you, your spouse, and your children.

While it can be challenging for the kids to spend the holiday season away from one parent or the other, there are a few things you and your ex-spouse can do to manage the transition.

Amicable Co-parenting

Co-parenting refers to sharing duties to raise children. When co-parenting, it is in your child's best interest to get along with the other parent. This reduces conflicts and makes everyone's lives smoother. Kids should be encouraged to spend time with both parents over the holiday season.

Even if the separation was contentious, you don't have to disparage your ex-partner to the children. Speaking negatively about the other parent can upset the children. Your kids will model their conduct on yours, so ensure your behavior is something you would like them to mirror.

Create a Schedule Beforehand

In most co-parenting situations, a custody plan for the holiday season is something you will have already planned long beforehand. The schedule is an essential part of any parenting agreement since it helps eliminate last-minute surprises that can add to the stress of the already busy season.

Ensure you get the details of the custody plan early, and keep them in mind as you make other plans. It is also essential to inform your holiday hosts whether or not you're bringing your kids.

Spend Time Together

Parents navigating the holiday season after divorce must deal with the reality of not being with their kids daily. However, since big holidays only come once a year, continuing to spend them as amicably as possible is probably best for your children. For example, you can attend Easter services or host a party on Christmas day together. In addition, spending time as a family during the holiday season can be helpful for your kids.

Coordinate Gifts

Coordinating with the other parent about the gifts you will get for your child is also essential. Communicating with the other parent about the gift will help ensure that the kids have an enjoyable holiday. You should also refrain from competing with the parent on the best gift. Remember that gifts cannot change the situation, and pampering your child with gifts will not solve any problem.

Plan Alternate Celebrations

If you did not get to spend time with your child during the holiday season, all is not lost. Instead, schedule the celebration at a later date. This can be an excellent way to ensure you do not miss out on having a great time with your children.

Set Expectations

Ensure your child understands the plan and that both of you are happy and comfortable with it. The last thing you want for your child is to have them feel sad or resentful for not spending time with you during the holiday. On the other hand, you don't want them to feel left out or confused. Inform them about the plan cheerfully so they can feel secure and comfortable throughout the season.

Celebrate with Family and Friends

We often link holidays with family celebrations. However, divorce can turn things around. If it is not your turn to spend time with the children, consider making plans with your friends and family.

You don't want to sit home alone for the whole day. Instead, use the time your kids will spend with your ex to visit a relative or friend you have not met for years. While having your kids around this holiday might not be possible, you can find comfort in knowing that you will be with them on the next celebration day. Ensure you take this time to celebrate with your family and friends.

Take Care of Yourself

The period after a separation can be stressful. It is hard to navigate the season without feeling exhausted. If you are facing your first holiday season after the split, keeping tabs on your health is important. Do anything possible to ensure you do not fall sick.

Eat well, get enough sleep, and exercise to get the energy to push through the season. However, if exercising isn't in the cards for you, you can take moments daily to stay calm, breathe and meditate. This can help you overcome the stressful moments that can tax your well-being.

If your children are around, ensure they maintain healthy habits throughout the season. Make sure they follow their meal and exercise schedule. Remember to include some fun moments in your children's routine. Allow yourself time to do things you enjoy. Taking a break will help you and your children improve your emotional health during this hectic period.

Reduce Interaction with Your Ex if Possible

Limiting interactions with your partner is advisable, mainly if divorce negotiations are underway. Avoid conversations about the financial implications of the divorce or what led to the separation. You can use online parenting tools if one of you finds communication disruptive or stressful or when interpersonal violence has emerged. Even if that is not the case, setting boundaries can be helpful for you, the other parent, and your children.

Get Help from a New York Family Law Attorney

Navigating through the first holiday season after a separation can be one of the most challenging encounters for a parent. Working with a New York family law attorney can help you manage the situation better. 

At WertheimerLiption, we are committed to guiding you through the divorce process and ensuring your interests and those of your children are preserved. Contact us today to schedule a consultation.